How many times do you inadvertently limit the ones you love with your reactions and comments? How often do you limit yourself with many of the same assumptions and beliefs?
My older son aspires to be a teenaged multi-millionaire computer programmer/game developer. My cheerleader mom-self says: “You go! What ambition!” A different voice inside my head usually says quite the opposite: “That's too big! You're bound to fall short with such a huge goal.” I am hoping that he feels the energy of that cheerleader mom rather than the limits that rattle through my head.
My knee-jerk limited reaction might be expected given what I've known to be true throughout my life. I've never met a multi-millionaire and certainly have never experienced a million dollar salary or lifestyle. There are also certain associations that I tend to make with having a lot of money-- and many of them are negative.
In essence, my judgments of being wealthy as well as the road I perceive one has to take to get to that kind of economic level cloud my ability to simply support the dreams of a person very dear to me. In this way, I am limiting my son.
The limiting I do with my loved ones simply mirrors the limiting I do with my own self. When I really look at my habitual patterns, there are plenty of ceilings I place on my own life-- whether it pertains to my body size or my own ability to reach a level of financial abundance. I essentially lock myself into where I am and short-circuit my desires for expansion and growth in many areas.
As you probably already know...you are almost always your own biggest obstacle.
Let me be clear here....
Limits and boundaries aren't necessarily bad. We set boundaries that can certainly be beneficial. The effects could be detrimental, for example, if a toddler is given no boundaries-- I think about my aspiring multi-millionaire son as a two-year old racing for a busy road.
We can also set boundaries on our own behaviors that might serve our well being. If you have food allergies, making different choices when selecting a snack can help you feel healthier. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, setting a boundary that you won't allow yourself to be hurt anymore and getting out of the relationship is absolutely beneficial. In situations like these, a boundary can help you thrive.
But those aren't the limits I'm talking about....
So “Why not?”
Begin to pay closer attention to your thoughts and beliefs. If you notice yourself thinking or even saying “I could never do that...” or “He or she couldn't possibly be or have that....” simply pause. Try to better understand where the limiting thoughts come from and observe how you feel.
Begin to ask yourself “Why not?” when a limit springs to your mind or from your mouth. Rather than the usual “no,” consider what it might be like to say “yes” instead.
As my son shares his abundant career vision with me, I can take a closer look at the limits that jump to my mind. I can ask myself “Why not?” This opens up space and a new vantage point from which I can more freely and fully support his steps toward that goal.
Open up to limitless living
Limited thinking begins to release as you say “yes” more of the time. The stuck place you might appear to be in can suddenly seem less solid and unmoving. Your life can actually begin to reflect this newfound limitlessness as you experience greater possibilities.
It doesn't always feel that easy of course. You might quickly dismiss or abandon your desires that seem outrageous and unattainable. So in addition to practicing asking yourself “Why not?” start letting go of the need to have it all figured out. Take it one step at a time. Listen to what you need at this moment and stay aware of openings and opportunities that will keep you pointed in the direction you want to go.
Give yourself permission to live with no limits and have fun stepping into the great expanse of anything is truly possible.
Thanks. This is just what I needed after my mother rained negativity on me last night. I love you. Bye.
ReplyDeleteGlad to share the positivity-- maybe the rain can help wash away that negativity... Love you too!
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