The No-Shame Way to Lose Weight, Feel Great and Motivate Yourself Toward the Body You Want

By Amy Phillips-Gary

The organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is notorious for making their message known in an in-your-face and difficult to forget way.

I'm usually all in favor of guerilla theater, nonviolent resistance and other forms of getting the word out about particular causes in creative and colorful ways.

But I'm never in favor of shaming and degradation.

Recently, PETA put up a new billboard in Florida with the words “Save the Whales” in bright pink letters.*

Next to this slogan was an image you might not expect-- it was a drawing (pictured above) of a large white woman's torso with a bikini on, complete with flesh hanging over her waistband.

Yes, this is PETA's latest effort to encourage people to adopt a vegetarian diet-- by making them feel probably more self-conscious and negatively about their body size than they already do.

This is not a blog post about PETA and its media strategies. This isn't even a blog post about vegetarianism.

Instead, this is a no-shame motivator to help you move closer to loving the body you have and having the body you want.

PETA is just the recent voice in a long-line of public outcry against the obesity “epidemic” in the U.S. Headlines scream at us about the health risks of weighing too much and eating a diet too heavy in sugars, fats and processed foods in general.

Yet we still reach for the cookies and ice cream when we're stressed out. We continue to munch chips with abandon when we're bored. And we prolong our time on the couch watching a favorite show instead of heading to the gym.

Why?

Is it because we're lazy, addicted or even apathetic?

I don't think so.

I believe that, in many cases, the guilt-inducing stream of images and rhetoric out there about our bodies, diet and exercise actually contribute to the actions (or non-actions) we take that keep us in bodies that may be heavier and unhealthier than we'd like them to be.

Instead of PETA vilifying people who eat meat and insinuating that vegetarianism automatically equals a thin and fit body, I'd like to see them uplift people of all sizes and then talk more about the many benefits of living a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle.

Let people make their own decisions about what they eat-- educate and motivate using methods that support dignity and respect.

Sit with It Before You Act

We all make choices. Every time each one of us eats or drinks something, it's a choice.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, I sometimes reach for the bag of chocolate chips that I know is in the freezer. In such a mode, I often mindlessly shovel handfuls of those sweet morsels into my mouth.

The result of this coping mechanism for stress is almost always that I stop and realize what I'm doing at a certain point and then I feel bad about myself.

The pounds seem to multiply with this realization and-- the biggest kicker of all-- I am still stressed and overwhelmed.

If you can simply sit with how you are feeling before you reach for your stash of chocolate (or whatever it is you use to try to cope with difficulties), you are taking a huge step.

In her book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha, Tara Brach suggests that you pause and “not do”when you feel driven by wanting. In other words, sit and notice how you are feeling before eating that chip or diving into the pint of ice cream.

Set aside even a few seconds to acknowledge how you are feeling and what you are truly wanting at this moment. Remember to breathe deeply.

After this noticing, if you still want to eat chocolate chips, do so. But know that you will be making a more conscious choice.

This can actually make a difference. You are choosing to eat or not to eat chocolate chips rather than devouring them in an out of control manner.

The eating of the chocolate chips becomes separated from your attempt to cope with stress as you take the time to offer your attention to your emotions before taking any action.

This can help you to feel more empowered and may lead to you making a different choice-- perhaps eating fewer chocolate chips, eating something more nourishing instead or maybe taking a walk to relax.

Stand behind the choices you make in your life-- including what you eat, how physically active you are and what your body looks like.

It is from this place of self-acceptance and self-respect that you can more easily make changes and celebrate the strides you are taking toward your goals along the way.
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*In response to an outpouring of negative public response to this billboard, PETA changed it. Visit this blog for more information.

When Dieting, Don't Forget the Emotion

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Are you a dieter?

You might be on, or have tried, the Atkins or South Beach diets or perhaps The Zone, Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig programs. There seem to be a plethora of choices when it comes to diet plans.

Not everyone is on a weight-loss diet, though many of us are.

According to a CBS news story, around 45 million Americans diet each year. About $1-$2 billion is spent on weight-loss programs annually in the U.S.

Those numbers indicate that a lot of people are dissatisfied with their bodies!

I'm not here to sell you on yet another weight-loss plan or product. I do intend, however, to encourage you to go deeper than the amount of calories or fat you are consuming.

I want more of us-- including myself-- to look beneath the surface of our body size loathing and begin to cultivate more self-appreciation and love.

And I believe that we can also all move closer to having the bodies we're wanting in the process.

I know a bit about dieting and body-dissatisfaction. Like many women (and men as well), I've practiced both since my teen years.

I've tried more extreme methods of weight loss such as self-starving and also more moderate attempts like reasonable amounts of exercise and certain food restrictions. My body size has ranged from thinner to heavier-- fitter to less toned.

Along the way, I've discovered that my body size and overall health directly relate to how I'm feeling and what I'm doing with my emotions.

Feelings matter.
Regardless of how many times I make it to the gym each week or how many salads I eat instead of chips and cookies, my emotional state of being has a huge impact on my weight and body perceptions.

Food is just not such a huge deal when I'm feeling worthy and positively about who I am.

This is an amazing observation to try to remember when I am not feeling too great about myself and the habit of battling my body and food return-- sometimes with a vengeance.

Spiritual teacher Abraham goes so far as to declare that “it's not what you eat that matters, it's how you feel.”

For many of us, these words can seem naïve and even foolhardy. Of course, our reasoned minds tell us, if I primarily eat pizza and ice cream, my body is going to get larger. There's no way around it!

Is there something to this though? Can it be that the secret to weight-loss is really rooted in how we feel? And what if feeling good, or even feeling improvement, is actually more important than losing pounds after all?

Expand your choices.
When you direct most of your attention to your emotions, you are freer to make choices.

As you shift your focus away from what you're eating, how much you're eating and how many calories you are burning off exercising and, instead, direct it toward how you are feeling, you can know your power.

You, me-- all of us-- have the power to make choices about how we want to live in these bodies we walk around in.

As you learn to tune in to how you are feeling and deal with your emotions, you can make clearer choices about food and exercise as well as other life decisions.

Pausing is one way to access your power and expand your choices. A pause means that you take even a few seconds to check in and ask yourself if you want to continue in the direction you are going.

Try the inside out diet.

If you want to alter your body size or shape, consider going on an inside out diet. Learn how to pause when you encounter difficulties or triggers.

You might still choose to eat that cookie, but the beauty is you are choosing to do so and possibly after releasing some of your inner bottled up emotions.

Set aside the judgments you might habitually make. Consider the many messages we're told, and then tell ourselves, that particular foods are “bad” and certain behaviors are “unhealthy” while others are “good” and “healthy.”

These dichotomies are not always accurate and they simply don't help us to move into the feeling space that encourages choice and empowerment.

Instead, get curious about your feelings and your experiences.

Make it your priority to feel healthy, vital and beautiful from the inside out rather than the other way around.

As you know your power and take care of your emotions, anything is truly possible-- when it comes to food, your body, exercise or your life.