Sunday, November 8, 2009

Boost Your Self Esteem...It Could Be One of the Most Selfless Things You'll Ever Do

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Have you ever felt stuck and stagnated in your life but couldn't bring yourself to make a change? You might feel disappointed about who you are and where you are, but you don't feel like you have the time or energy to do anything about it.

It's quite possible that low self esteem is part of the reason why you feel so immobilized and unhappy.

Maybe you already have so many things and people demanding your attention, it seems that there literally is no time for you-- to get that manicure you've always wanted to have, to take a class you're interested in or to start figuring out why you tend to feel inadequate most days.

Even if you had the time, wouldn't it be selfish to spend it on yourself?

If you feel unfulfilled and unworthy, I suggest that it's PAST time for you to offer at least some of your attention to boosting your self esteem. Additionally, bolstering your self esteem is actually a very selfless act!

If you tend to go through life feeling less than good at what you do or even not good at all as a person, you owe it not only to yourself, but to every single person in your life to create space, time and a willingness within yourself to improve your self esteem.

Your low self esteem probably goes way back...
It's likely that your lagging sense of self worth spans back to your preteen and teen years, if not earlier. Studies have shown that girls in particular usually experience a self esteem peak around the age of 9.

These are a scant number of years during which a human being feels worthy and positively about herself (or himself). Boys face challenges to their self esteem as well.

Early experiences and beliefs can also leave deep scars.

As adults, we usually attempt to hide away our emotional scars as well as our low self esteem. But they are there and they rise to the surface in a myriad of ways.

For example, I often become uncomfortable when I am complimented. There are probably a whole host of reasons for this tendency of mine. One is most definitely a belief that I do not deserve that praise-- this is linked in with low self esteem.

I think that it is far more common for adults to experience a lagging sense of self worth than one might expect. After all, we are grown up, we're supposed to be beyond that insecurity thing, right?


It's time for each of us to look inside ourselves and begin to notice the times when we put ourselves down, deflect compliments or otherwise shrink away and cut ourselves off from our strengths and passions.

Boosting your self esteem is actually a selfless act...
Even if you are well aware of your low self esteem, you might not be taking steps to improve it because you feel so busy already and the idea of boosting your self worth seems, well, selfish.

Let me put it this way. If you feel inadequate, stagnated and stuck where you are and whom you have become, you are probably the very same way you feel in your relationships with others.

You truly cannot be the loving, giving and valuing partner, parent, son/daughter, co-worker, employee, etc. without feeling love, respect and value for yourself first.

There is little or nothing to give to others in your life except your own dissatisfaction when you continue to ignore or foster low self esteem.

These statements are not meant to guilt trip you into making changes in the way you view yourself. Instead, it is my intention to assert to you that when you take even the tiniest of steps to boost your self esteem everyone in your life-- especially you-- can benefit.

Yes, you might feel resistant to changing even this hurtful habit because it's what you've known for so long. And you may also feel worried about what this might mean to your relationships and your life.

Notice your resistance, your worries and your fears and do this anyway.

Make a choice to begin to feel better about yourself and know that you can (and will) enjoy improved self esteem and an improved life because of it.

In the following days on this blog I will take a deeper look at low self esteem. This includes exploring what fuels low self esteem as well as strategies to develop new habits that will improve self worth and esteem along the way.
Personal Growth Planet blog is taking part in National Blog Posting Month ( Every weekday in November, you'll find shorter daily blogs linked by weekly themes.

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