Rev Up Intimacy and Passion in Your Relationship

By Amy Phillips-Gary

“Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better”-- The Beatles

In their classic song, “Hey Jude,” The Beatles sang this message so clearly.... If you want more passion and intimacy in your relationships, open up your heart and let others in.

This week I've been writing about how to improve your relationships. When it comes to interacting with others, things can become rather dull and routine. Deepening and enlivening your connection with others is a fabulous way to improve your relationships.

And I'm not just talking about your love relationship or marriage.

There is a potential for close, engaging and alive interactions with every person you encounter...if you want it and if you open up to it.

Ok, there are probably people that you work with, see regularly or are even related to with whom you don't want to be close. For some reason, you might feel uncomfortable with a deep level of intimacy (or any intimacy at all) with these particular people.

That's perfectly fine. This is your decision.

But when you look around at your relationships with your partner, children, extended family and friends and few, if any, of those relationships match up to the level of passion and intimacy that you desire, it's time to look inside.

The walls can come tumbling down...
A big reason why many of us aren't feeling fully alive and engaged with the relationships that we're in is because on some level we have built up walls. Through years of experience, a lot of us have erected symbolic walls to keep other people at a distance.

Keeping others at “arm's length” may have been a sort of survival strategy that made sense and even served you at one point in your life. If you feel dissatisfied and want more now, however, it's time to reconsider that strategy.

Which people in your life are you ready to open up to just a little bit more?

You could set an intention to rev up the intimacy in your love relationship, for example. And this doesn't just mean sex!

When you open up to deeper intimacy, you are allowing this other person to see sides of you that you might have previously kept hidden-- even if you've been together for many many years. There could be more or different physical touching and sharing involved as well.

Stay aware of how you tend to interact with the other person in the relationship upon which you are focusing.

Where do you usually hold back? At what point during conversations and physical interaction (which could include everything from hugs, kisses, pats on the back to lovemaking) do you freeze up and hide behind that wall?

It is at this place of holding back, where you can make a decision to try something new. Give yourself permission to expand beyond your normal level of intimacy even just a little bit. This can happen in steps.

Pay attention to how it feels to deepen intimacy in this new way. How does it feel in your body? What do you notice about how the other person responds?

Remember, an internal wall can take some time to dismantle so be gentle with yourself.

Lust for life...
Another way to rev up intimacy and passion in your relationships is to let yourself fall in love with life. It is frequently the case that a person's relationships seem dull and lifeless because that's the way the person sees his or her life overall.

You can breathe new life into your relationships by consciously becoming more passionate about what you do, who you are and where you are right now. You can also get pumped up about where you are headed.

There are always things that we'd like to change, improve and to be different about ourselves and our lives-- including our relationships. To encourage those positive changes, you could look for those aspects that stir you and cause your heart to sing.

Get passionate about yourself and your life and then allow that excitement and zing to expand. It will undoubtedly help you breach those walls to intimacy within yourself and make it easier for you to move closer to the people in your life.
**************************************************
*Personal Growth Planet blog is taking part in National Blog Posting Month (http://www.nablopomo.com/). Every weekday in November, you'll find daily blogs linked by weekly themes.

Is There Room for More BOOM in Your Life?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

As we gear up for 4^th of July picnics and fireworks, the news seems filled with the deaths of several famous folks.

On this celebratory time of the United States' “birthday,” it's an odd feeling for me to also be thinking about the passing on of people who were iconic as I grew up.

This amalgam of mourning and 4^th of July revelry lead my thoughts to life itself. There are lots of unknowns and much we could choose to be fearful about.

At the same time, there is so much to appreciate and celebrate. Each and every moment can be infused with a sense of aliveness, passion and spark... if we choose.

In the midst of the sadness and fear you might encounter from time to time, I encourage us all to create space for more BOOM!

It is too common for people to fall into routines driven by responsibilities and lists of things we “have to” do. A life by default is not one fully lived.

Isn't it time to amp up your spark? Light the fuse and be part of the amazing colors and sounds streaking through the atmosphere!

Tap in and spread your spark around

Some of us aren't aware of what makes us feel alive. And I mean ALIVE! Energy is pumping, toes and fingers are tingling and absolutely bursting with vitality.

Think back to a time in your life when you felt even close to this description of aliveness. What were you doing? What was unique about those moments?

You probably don't want to live in the past, but you can be informed by it.

Experiment with activities and ways of interacting that helped you feel more vibrant and alive in the past. Use that as a starting point to discover new ways to tap into your spark.

Acknowledge any bit of vitality you can and nurture it by continuing to be, do and think in ways that help it grow.

One way to multiply the vitality you are starting to feel is to allow it to expand. Don't keep that spark all to yourself!

When you are with other people, don't hold back for fear they won't understand you. Fear of rejection is most certainly a way to dampen down the nascent spark you've tapped into.

Instead, be yourself and be as beautifully vibrant as you can be in this moment.

When you stay present and really listen and interact with others, you will not only nurture your own spark, you might just inspire theirs as well.

Go to your Source

As you might already be aware, that spark you feel when you do whatever it is you do and engage with those around you comes from within you and outside of you all at the same time.

The boom of being fully alive comes from the Universe, Source, God, Goddess, Spirit, Yahweh, and so on.

Depending on your spiritual path, the name you give to your Source and the specific beliefs you have about it will vary.

Regardless of your religious or spiritual path, there is available to all of us a deep and enduring energy that-- when we tap into it-- allows us to be fully alive.

Sometimes this is experienced as an all-encompassing peaceful calm and other times it is a charged electricity that runs throughout us. Still other times it is both of these or more.

If you are having a difficult time tapping into your spark, consider returning to your spiritual Source. It doesn't matter what name you give it, just open yourself up to touching in and beyond.

You might find meditation or prayer helpful as you connect with your Source. You could also sing, dance or go for a hike and get in touch with nature. Whatever means you find useful in transcending your everyday routine and busyness, try it.

And when you discover (or re-discover) a sense of spark, know you have connected with your Source. Practice returning to this state of aliveness regularly. Rely on this practice when you encounter difficulties or merely boredom.

Give thanks and appreciation for this gift and for your life. Just as we celebrate the lives of those celebrities who have moved on, celebrate your own life that's still in play as well as those around you.

Nurture your spark and color the world with all that you are and can be.