“Oops, I did it again...” Tips to Help You Return to Your Diet and Fitness Resolutions

By Amy Phillips-Gary

So maybe you set some diet and fitness resolutions for yourself at the beginning of the year. And maybe in the first few weeks of January you stuck with them and possibly even saw some positive results.

But now it's almost a month and half later, and it's likely that you've encountered some “oops” moments-- or maybe more than just a few.

At our family Superbowl party last night, for example, I realized that I was eating Fritos, cookies and chocolate-covered almonds without giving any of it much thought. I wasn't even hungry, but these treats are party food and tasted great.

Oops!

I am not on a strict diet right now, but, I have set for myself the intention to eat more mindfully.

That does not include shoveling in Fritos and chocolate!

It can happen as quickly as that. You tune back in to yourself and realize that you have fallen into old eating and non-exercise habits.

What many of us, myself included, do when we realize that we've veered from the healthier course we've set is to scold, judge and blame ourselves.

Sometimes we make excuses like, “It's too cold and snowy to go for a run” as we sit back down on the couch.

Much of the time, we also drag ourselves through the judgmental mud for not following through... as usual. As I've pointed out in past blog posts, self-shaming is absolutely NOT an effective motivator if getting back into alignment with diet and fitness resolutions is desired.

A first question to ask yourself might be, “Am I really willing to make a commitment to lose weight by eating differently and/or exercising more frequently?”

Offer yourself the chance to really consider this question. If you are merely trying to lose weight and get more fit because you think you “should,” this could part of the problem.

It's not that you are weak-willed or undisciplined. Instead, perhaps you haven't created a resolution or set an intention to which you can whole-heartedly commit.

As you probably know, commitments that you maintain usually link up with something that resonates deeply within you. I'm not necessarily suggesting that you abandon your weight loss or fitness aspirations.

What I do recommend is that you find some aspect about eating healthier and moving your body more that lines up with your core beliefs and goals.

For example, instead, of “I want to lose 35 pounds by the summer by following this particular diet and exercise regimen,” you might resolve, “I will eat at least 2 green salads each day and will not choose cookies unless I've had 5 (or more) servings of vegetables first.”

This second resolution is more specific and it also might better line up with your beliefs that a diet rich in vegetables will help keep you healthy, which lines up with your commitment to live a long and physically healthy life.

The commitment is to a healthier, more vibrant and energetic life and not necessarily to a particular number of pounds lost-- although that might be desired (and attained) as well.

This specific change in phrasing might not speak to you.

Find a different way to approach your diet and fitness goals and then re-phrase or re-think them so that they resonate more fully with what's most important to you.

This different approach can help you incorporate new ways of eating and exercising into your life with less internal resistance than you might have encountered in the past. You might even find yourself enjoying following these resolutions along the way.

Continue to play around with your resolutions until you find what works for you.

*Coming up on Friday....Part 2 of Tips to Help You Return to Your Diet and Fitness Resolutions

Diet Success Tips: It's NOT About Willpower

By Amy Phillips-Gary

It's difficult not to notice the countless ads for various diet plans and products lately.

Of course, this is to be expected. Shedding pounds is, by far, one of the most popular resolutions that people here in the U.S. set for themselves after the December holidays.

As you might have experienced, after intending that this is the year we will drop a clothing size or two, people often become distracted, overwhelmed, disenchanted, or frustrated in some way and our bathroom scales seem to indicate that we've failed to meet our weight loss goals...again.

I'm right there with the masses who struggle with diet and weight loss. I've set countless goals for myself regarding what I eat, how much and when in an effort to create the body size and shape and I desire.

And I'm right there with the masses who feel like we've failed when it doesn't happen.

Sometimes, when I've slid back into my usual eating habits (the ones that I deem to be unhealthy), I feel as if I have little or no willpower. When it comes to chocolate and sweets in particular, it can appear to me that I am simply unable to say “no.”

Saying “no” is what dieting seems to be all about, doesn't it?

It's actually NOT about willpower.
When I look at the areas of my life in which I feel more successful in reaching goals and creating what I want, I can see that willpower and the ability to say “no” are not necessarily the keys.

In fact, a recent Wall Street Journal article highlights the findings of various scientific studies about willpower that support this assertion.

Neuroscientists are discovering that the area of the brain that is associated with things like willpower, short-term memory, focus and abstract problem-solving can become overloaded more easily than one would assume.

When faced with too many tasks, this part of the brain can only handle just so much.

This is why, according to the article, our resolve to go home from work and eat a big healthy salad for dinner flies out the window when we are tired and have had a particularly challenging day. Pizza is ordered and, pretty soon, we are sitting there feeling fat and bad because we've eaten more of a food that we were trying to avoid.

When it comes to eating healthier and losing weight, I am coming to believe that the emphasis needs to be on making conscious and affirmative decisions about food, the body and exercise.

“Yes” needs to be said to the activities, behaviors and thoughts that will support us in the changes we want to make.

Instead of saying “no” all of the time to those “junk” foods, find ways to create more space and openness within yourself to the new foods you're willing to try and the potentially new eating habits you're wanting to adopt.

Create a plan that you can stick to.
The research findings discussed in the Wall Street Journal article, also show that when the brain is focused and intentions are clear and manageable, tasks (including behavior changes) can be easily followed through with.

Keep this in mind as you choose a program or product to help you lose weight.

Check out what's available to you. If the program or product sounds like it would be a good fit for your life and intentions, give it a try.

You might not want to pay money for a program or product, but you'd still like to shed pounds. If so, there is a vast variety of free resources at your library, on the internet and even in the examples of your friends and family members.

Whatever kind of weight loss plan that you create and choose, make sure that you feel hopeful, eager and even excited about it.

How does it feel when you consider doing what the resource is asking you to do? How does it feel when you actually eat these different foods or in a different way?

If your plan feels overwhelming or unrealistic, perhaps that's your signal to step it back a bit or look for another approach.

It can be very healthy to challenge yourself-- especially when it comes to habits that are not serving your overall well being. But challenging yourself doesn't mean you feel overwhelmed or doomed to eventually fail at the outset.

Again, pay close attention to what has supported success for you in other areas of your life. Apply those supports to this new and, perhaps, trickier issue.

Visualize what you want as you make changes.
I urge you to also pay close attention to what you are thinking about and envisioning for yourself and your future.

Whether you decide to keep a food diary, count calories, weigh your portions or whatever actions relative to eating that you choose, keep visualizing what you ultimately want along the way.

Take time every day to visualize yourself happy, healthy, fulfilled and walking around in the body size that you desire. See yourself enjoying the act of eating and exercising.

Above all, expand your acceptance yourself the way that you are right now. Coming to peace with what is-- and even appreciating it-- can powerfully carry you through to the changes you want.

Be Prepared!

By Amy Phillips-Gary

A few days ago a headline on the cover of my city's newspaper advised readers to “Prepare for H1N1.” This cautionary lead was followed up by a list of steps that can be taken in order to minimize the affects of this strain of influenza that's reportedly making the rounds.

Cold and flu season happens every year. This time, however, there has been a particular focus on the H1N1 flu.

Countless news reports and websites share the list of symptoms. You can even go online to track where the H1N1 flu has shown up across the country and the world.

Our local YMCA has reminders posted throughout the building and on all exercise equipment about how to disinfect the space. Signs on the front door make the request that those with H1N1 symptoms to stay away. Bottles of antibacterial hand sanitizer seem to be available everywhere.

The preparations appear in full swing for the expected onslaught of this influenza.

Some of the people I know are getting sick and I even read about a teenager in my city who actually died from complications of H1N1.

But I can't help but wonder if we are preparing so much for a flu epidemic, we are actually making ourselves sick!

When the local newspaper tries to offer me tips for how to “prepare for H1N1,” I just say no thanks!

Instead, I am preparing for health and wellness.

You tend to get what you expect.

You might not realize it but your expectations can actually create the reality you live. Many of us have heard the term “self-fulfilling prophecy.”

This plays out as the slow or troubled child who nobody (including the child him or herself) believes will ever amount to much, ends up meeting everyone's low expectations.

Of course, there are those exceptions to the rule who surpass and overcome limiting expectations, lead successful lives and contribute positively to the world.

The point here is what you expect and what you prepare for usually manifests.

Your expectations are usually based on the past experiences you've had and also what you've learned from others. Expectations are inextricably linked to your beliefs.

This is especially accurate when it comes to your body and your health.

How many times have you been in the presence of a person who was obviously ill and then, after worrying about catching the illness yourself, you inevitably do?

Of course, there are germs floating about. But why is it that some people can seem to walk through a room of coughing and nose-blowing and come through just as healthy and resilient as before and others quite quickly succumb?

I believe that expectations play a huge role in these different experiences.

Even if the law of attraction does not resonate with your belief system, consider the countless scientific studies that show how damaging to the immune system fear and worry are.

I watch my thoughts and I pay attention to the influences I am surrounding myself with.

When I read about the flu, I notice that I often feel concern for my family and myself. I feel compassion for those who are suffering right now and I also feel grateful that at this moment I feel well and full of energy.

After these acknowledgments, I return to my belief that my body (and those of my loved ones) is strong and functioning optimally.

I expect this great health to continue and know that if I do become ill, I will rebound quickly and thoroughly.

When I take an action that affects my health, I choose actions that keep me lined up with this expectation and desired experience.

If taking extra vitamin C or health supplements helps me continue to feel aligned with optimum health, I will take those actions. If continuing to care for my body by washing my hands, exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet feels like it will keep me pointed toward wellness, I will also take those actions.

Pay attention to what you are expecting for your own health. Where do your thoughts tend to spend most of the time?

You can always re-direct your thinking, question your own beliefs and form new expectations for your health and your life. These shifts can happen at any time with beneficial effects.

So, what are you preparing for?

Are Your Emotions Making You Sick?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

“...It's just emotions taking me over...” sang the popular 1970s pop group the Bee Gees.

I bet that just about every one of us has experienced a wave of emotions that seemed to literally take over.

It might have been fear or panic so intense that nothing else going on could be perceived. Or it could have been a surge of pleasure or happiness.

Our feelings can be pervasive. They can also make us sick or, conversely, support and promote health and well-being.

There is a connection between emotions and physical health that is being documented in scientific studies.

Medical scientists at UCLA found that the stress hormone, cortisol, suppresses the body's ability to produce an enzyme that is essential for cell health and the effective functioning of the immune system.

As you probably already know, it is the immune system that can fight off nasty things like flu, colds, diseases and even cancer.

And, studies aside, we've all probably experienced this mind-body connection up close and personal in our own lives.

Late last week I came down with some nasty symptoms-- throbbing head, achy all over, low energy, chills and even vomiting.

At first glance, it was obvious that I had a flu. But when I take a careful look back at the days leading up to this illness, there's another way of understanding it.

It is quite probable that I literally made myself sick.

Days before these symptoms temporarily knocked me out, I had been feeling bad about myself. I was feeling sad, ugly, inadequate and generally very low. And the next day, BOOM, I get sick.

Could there be a connection?

I think so.

Letting emotions off the hook for a moment...

Let me back up for a minute. I am not proposing that emotions are to blame for physical health problems.

Instituting a good/bad dichotomy whereby certain emotions will keep you healthy and others will make you sick is not going to benefit any of us. This presumption could lead to an attempt to ignore or push down those feelings that are not deemed positive.

It is nearly impossible to truly ignore away those unpleasant emotions. Efforts to suppress them are not going to promote health either.

Emotions are just energy. Defined as “affective states of consciousness,” our emotions are tied in with our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions.

If you can start to see emotions are merely powerful energy and leave behind the good/bad labels, you can begin to make peace with them-- and I mean all of them.

Making peace with where you are is a great way to allow your emotions to process and then release. It is the tendency to hold onto or become stuck in difficult emotions that can add to stress which then can manifest as illness and disease.

Practice emotional self-checks...

When you stay tuned in to how you are feeling and what you are thinking and believing, you can know when a potential tidal wave of angst is building within you.

Too many of us simply aren't present with our own selves much of the time. It's in this state of auto-pilot that we often get caught unaware by challenging feelings that we then feel helpless to do anything about.

Try this emotional self-check instead:
Before you get out of bed in the morning, simply listen to your thoughts and notice how are feeling. Repeat this during a mid-day break in your daily routine and then again before dropping off to sleep at night.

When you discover feelings, thoughts or sensations that disturb or trouble you, pause and look more deeply at what's going on. Be inquisitive and resist the urge to judge yourself or become fearful.

It can be quite a powerful act to interrupt your usual habit of pushing ahead with your life and, instead, acknowledge that you feel sad, irritable, angry or afraid.

Your next step could be to ask yourself what you need to soothe yourself about this. The answer might be a very specific action, or it could be more questions.

You may discover that particular beliefs about yourself, others or your situation are fueling your intense emotions. If so, it can be helpful to ask yourself if you absolutely know that these beliefs are true.

Often, the reminder that a belief or thought might not be accurate is enough to create space for new perceptions of a situation.

As you listen to yourself and follow through by meeting your emotional needs as best you can, you will probably feel improvement and some sense of relief.

You might not jump from depressed to joyful, but be sure to recognize those positive movements and continue to build on them.

The No-Shame Way to Lose Weight, Feel Great and Motivate Yourself Toward the Body You Want

By Amy Phillips-Gary

The organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is notorious for making their message known in an in-your-face and difficult to forget way.

I'm usually all in favor of guerilla theater, nonviolent resistance and other forms of getting the word out about particular causes in creative and colorful ways.

But I'm never in favor of shaming and degradation.

Recently, PETA put up a new billboard in Florida with the words “Save the Whales” in bright pink letters.*

Next to this slogan was an image you might not expect-- it was a drawing (pictured above) of a large white woman's torso with a bikini on, complete with flesh hanging over her waistband.

Yes, this is PETA's latest effort to encourage people to adopt a vegetarian diet-- by making them feel probably more self-conscious and negatively about their body size than they already do.

This is not a blog post about PETA and its media strategies. This isn't even a blog post about vegetarianism.

Instead, this is a no-shame motivator to help you move closer to loving the body you have and having the body you want.

PETA is just the recent voice in a long-line of public outcry against the obesity “epidemic” in the U.S. Headlines scream at us about the health risks of weighing too much and eating a diet too heavy in sugars, fats and processed foods in general.

Yet we still reach for the cookies and ice cream when we're stressed out. We continue to munch chips with abandon when we're bored. And we prolong our time on the couch watching a favorite show instead of heading to the gym.

Why?

Is it because we're lazy, addicted or even apathetic?

I don't think so.

I believe that, in many cases, the guilt-inducing stream of images and rhetoric out there about our bodies, diet and exercise actually contribute to the actions (or non-actions) we take that keep us in bodies that may be heavier and unhealthier than we'd like them to be.

Instead of PETA vilifying people who eat meat and insinuating that vegetarianism automatically equals a thin and fit body, I'd like to see them uplift people of all sizes and then talk more about the many benefits of living a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle.

Let people make their own decisions about what they eat-- educate and motivate using methods that support dignity and respect.

Sit with It Before You Act

We all make choices. Every time each one of us eats or drinks something, it's a choice.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, I sometimes reach for the bag of chocolate chips that I know is in the freezer. In such a mode, I often mindlessly shovel handfuls of those sweet morsels into my mouth.

The result of this coping mechanism for stress is almost always that I stop and realize what I'm doing at a certain point and then I feel bad about myself.

The pounds seem to multiply with this realization and-- the biggest kicker of all-- I am still stressed and overwhelmed.

If you can simply sit with how you are feeling before you reach for your stash of chocolate (or whatever it is you use to try to cope with difficulties), you are taking a huge step.

In her book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha, Tara Brach suggests that you pause and “not do”when you feel driven by wanting. In other words, sit and notice how you are feeling before eating that chip or diving into the pint of ice cream.

Set aside even a few seconds to acknowledge how you are feeling and what you are truly wanting at this moment. Remember to breathe deeply.

After this noticing, if you still want to eat chocolate chips, do so. But know that you will be making a more conscious choice.

This can actually make a difference. You are choosing to eat or not to eat chocolate chips rather than devouring them in an out of control manner.

The eating of the chocolate chips becomes separated from your attempt to cope with stress as you take the time to offer your attention to your emotions before taking any action.

This can help you to feel more empowered and may lead to you making a different choice-- perhaps eating fewer chocolate chips, eating something more nourishing instead or maybe taking a walk to relax.

Stand behind the choices you make in your life-- including what you eat, how physically active you are and what your body looks like.

It is from this place of self-acceptance and self-respect that you can more easily make changes and celebrate the strides you are taking toward your goals along the way.
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*In response to an outpouring of negative public response to this billboard, PETA changed it. Visit this blog for more information.

A Big Ole Belly Laugh

By Amy Phillips-Gary

It's a usual day on the metro. People read, listen to music or chat quietly with each other as they travel from one place to another.

Suddenly, a man-- sitting by himself-- begins to laugh quite loudly and boisterously. Those around him begin to look and wonder what has caused this man to laugh so heartily.

And then it happens.

The laughter starts to spread just minutes after the gentleman begins to giggle. Pretty soon, the entire train car is bursting at the seams with laughter.

Riders are shaking their heads and shrugging their shoulders in surrender to the sheer pleasure of laughing.

This actual scene spontaneously occurred on a metro train. As I watched the recording of it on youtube.com, I couldn't help myself either. I joined in with the laughter.

And it felt so good!

It really doesn't matter what kind of laughter you experience. You might giggle, smirk, or chuckle. Or you may loudly guffaw and double over with a deep belly laugh.

There's no doubt about it. Laughter is a pleasing, releasing and relaxing activity to engage in.

Even if you can't bring yourself to a full-out laugh, you can almost always find a way to lighten up about what's going on in your life.

Unfortunately, many of us don't allow ourselves a really good laugh regularly. It seems too easy to get wrapped up in the “serious work” of being an adult.

After all, we have bills to pay, examples to set for the young folk in our lives and what can seem like the unending troubles of our world to contend with.

Who has time for laughter and lightening up in the midst of all that?

Laughter is essential...

I believe that it's time we all make laughter as much a priority in our lives as we do working out at the gym, eating our vegetables and keeping our minds sharp by completing the sudoku.

The health benefits of laughter have actually been documented. We have all hopefully experienced the delightful release of tension and stress after a good laugh.

You may also be aware that laughter releases those uplifting endorphins. The immune system can be boosted by laughter and benefits to the cardiovascular system can also result.

When you share laughter with others, a bond is almost immediately formed. It is truly difficult to harbor ill feelings toward another person when the two of you are laughing together.

Laughter can also help you get unstuck emotionally. A cleansing laugh can truly shift your perspective.

Laughter can't be forced...

When you look at your life and you are afraid, worried, angry, disappointed or even disgusted by what you see, it can seem impossible to laugh. You simply can't make yourself be happy or laugh.

Noticing that you are unhappy is a great first step toward lightening up and creating space for laughter.

Acknowledge what you're feeling. Don't discount your emotions or shove aside unhappiness.

Do choose to focus more of your attention on aspects of your life that feel lighter, easier and more pleasing.

Your lightening up process might start by watching your cat chase after a toy, for example. As the feline tumbles, leaps and tackles the fuzzball “prey,” you might notice a slight smile form on your lips.

Yes, your life is relatively the same as it was a moment ago, but by simply watching your cat have a little fun you lightened up. It wasn't forced. It was a conscious choice you made to shift your focus.